When the bear rumbles…

Note: Names, places and relationships have been changed.

“The Bear” is a friend of mine in another state. He is in his 40’s, a former college football line backer and heavyweight wrestler. He carries 310+ pounds on a 6’3” frame. His name is a given.

Bear has a 13 year old daughter by his first marriage. The “cub” lives in a town 40 miles away from the Bear’s permanent den.

The family rule is no one dates until they are 16 years old. Through a series of events, the “cub” decides to test the system. After babysitting one night, she is picked up by a 16 year old boy. Her Mom finds out and calls the Bear to find out what to do. Even though he lives 40 miles away and it was 11:00 p.m., the Bear rumbles into action.

He gets out of bed, dresses and moves toward his 4-wheel drive Dodge pickup with a singleness of purpose. The “cub” and boyfriend need to be taught a lesson. What is the lesson? There is a price to pay for disobedience.

The moon is full as he races toward this small prairie town; the roads are quiet, the radio is off and the Bear plots his strategy. The only thing he hears is the whine of the engine and air flowing through his hair.

The Bear arrives and parks one block from his daughter’s home and waits. About twenty minutes later the 16 year old “boyfriend’s” jacked up, slightly beat up 4-wheel drive pickup pulls up in front of “the cub’s” house and parks. Now the Bear begins to rumble. He walks purposely down the street, pounding his size 12 feet into the pavement.

You’d think they would hear but they don’t. The first sound was the driver’s side door being ripped open by the faithful bear-sized dad on a mission. To say the least, the surprise in his “cub’s” eyes is astonishment. (The Bear said her eyes were the size of a saucer!) Bear looks at her and says in a booming voice “GET IN THE HOUSE!” Talk about moving like a rifle shot—she is gone! Bear’s 6’3” frame and the jacked up nature of the boyfriend’s pick up put Bear’s mouth at ear and face level of the vehicle’s occupant (AKA “the boyfriend”). Bear leans in, puts his face ½ inch from Bubba’s face. In no uncertain terms, he makes Bubba aware of the gravity of the situation and clearly states his purpose and intention. Bear states if he even sees this pickup within 10 blocks of this house, there will be problems. Bubba is shaking after the unexpected midnight encounter with the rumbling bear.

Bear’s “cub” (13 year old daughter) sees her dad as meddling in her life; he should be meddling. I praise God that Bear meddles in his cub’s life. You see, Bear understands God will hold him accountable for the type of dad he has been or will be. He takes his role seriously. More of us need to follow his example, taking seriously our role as parents. Rumble on, Bear; rumble on!

The Super Nanny—required TV watching with something missing

The “Super Nanny” arrives on the scene in a British taxi. She looks proper and stern. Super Nanny is an ABC-TV program which is on Wednesday evenings. The purpose of the program is to bring hope and change for troubled families. It makes for good TV.

I have watched several episodes and have begun to see a pattern in these troubled families. Dad is uninvolved and distant. (Few dads realize the importance of their role in the family.) Mom is overwhelmed trying hard to hold the family together. She is overworked and disrespected. There are no schedules and no list of duties which need to be accomplished. There is no discipline; no consequences for wrong doing because there are no rules. It’s chaos. It’s an ongoing frat party with major amounts of head butting, disrespect, and outright disobedience.

The Nanny works with the family to put schedules into place. The family makes up a set of “house rules”: no cursing, no yelling, no fighting, no talking back, and no biting off the head of pet frog Elmer. She makes the parents enforce the “new found” rules. Disobedience results in a loss of privileges which have been agreed to beforehand.

The Nanny spends a week with the family helping put the new system in place. One thing I’ve noticed is there is never any mention of a spiritual component. (Maybe it was addressed in programs that I missed.) You may say, “so what Jerry?” I’m speaking from experience here; one spiritual point must be made.

When “Little Princess” and “Juvenile Junior” see no spiritual accountability in the parents, they will at some time question by what authority do parents have the right to tell them what to do? A time will come when Princess and Junior will rip the “veneer” off of the good family image and view Mom and Dad’s attempts to bring order and discipline as just two “old goats” trying to make their life miserable. Little Princess and Juvenile Junior are asked to be accountable to Mom and Dad but…who are Mom and Dad accountable to?

Mom and Dad, you are accountable to God for the gift of your children which God has given you. You are God’s chosen stewards of His beautiful creation. Start in Genesis, go through the Bible; the message of the Bible is clear, you will answer to God for your parenting. Genesis 18:18-19: “Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him. For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him." Eph. 6:1-4: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise--"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

You may say to me, “Jerry, I don’t believe that!” If that is the case, it doesn’t make any difference whether you believe it or not. God does not need your approval for anything. You will be held accountable.

Our children need to see that we, the parents and grandparents, are accountable to God for their care and upbringing. They need to see in our every day lives that we live recognizing God’s very present reality in every day events. We need to demonstrate our love and caring for our children and grandchildren by loving them enough to call them to account and to discipline them in love.

Watch the Super Nanny, put into practice what you need to do but remember we are all accountable to God.